Efrat, Israel - Why was the first Jew Abraham and not Adam, Abraham and not Noah?  I've dealt with this question before, having suggested that the uniqueness of Abraham resides in the fact that he created three generations faithful to ethical monotheism, a feat accomplished neither by Adam nor by Noah.  In this commentary I would like to make another suggestion; I would like to look at these three outstanding biblical personalities from the perspective of their attitudes towards their wives.

Adam and Eve transgress G-ds command and eat of the forbidden fruit of knowledge of good and evil.  G-d first confronts Adam, the individual to whom he initially gave the command forbidding the eating of the fruit: "Is it then that from the tree which I commanded you not to eat of it, you ate?"  Apparently, what G-d expected to hear from Adam was a contrite confession, following which everything would have been forgiven and all the human descendants would still be happily residing in the Garden of Eden.  Instead, Adam is full of recriminations, against G-d but especially against Eve, his wife "And the man said, 'The woman whom You gave to me, she gave me from the tree and I ate"' (Genesis 3:11, 12).  Not only is there no confession from Adam or any attempt at protecting his wife; what this first man does is escaping from responsibility by placing all the blame on his wife’s shoulders.  He sees his wife as being a mere means to his end.

Chapter 5 of the book of Genesis catalogs the ten generations between Adam and Noah "And Shet lived 105 years and he begat (literally bore, gave birth to) Enosh…and Enosh lived 90 years and he begat Canaan" (Genesis 5:6, 9).  And so the verses continue, He lived and he begat, …but where are the women in this whole process of Begatting?  Did the men have children by themselves?!  And when the Bible does mention the two wives of Lemekh, Adah and Zilah, the Midrash cited by Rashi explains their name derivative as expressing their respective functions: Adah was the baby machine while Zilah was the trophy wife.  This hardly expresses a husband-wife partnership and soul mate relationship. 

And now we come to Noah.  Our Torah portion opens with an introduction "These are the generations of Noah; Noah was a righteous man, wholehearted in his generation; Noah walked with G-d. And Noah begat three sons: Shem, Ham and Yafet" (Genesis 6:8-10).  However, here again Noah alone does the Begatting, with no mention of a Mrs. Noah (It is the Midrash who does identify his wife as having been Naamah, the sister of Tuval Cain – Genesis 4:22).  G-d apparently picks up on Noahs habitual disregard of his wife "And G-d said to Noah: 'you and your house (a noun used talmudically to refer to ones wife but generally referring to ones household or family) shall come into the ark …from all the pure animals take for yourself seven of a kind a man and a woman" (Genesis 7:1, 2).  Animals are generally referred to in the Bible as male and female not as a man and his wife.  God is apparently demonstrating to Noah that just as in the animal world, the human world comes in pairs, husbands with their wives.  Noah doesn't get the point.  "Noah and his sons and his wife and the wives of his sons" come into the ark (Genesis 7:7).  And once again the Bible emphasizes "on that very day Noah and Shem, Ham and Yafet the sons of Noah and Noah's wife and the three wives of his sons came with them into the ark" (Genesis 7:13).  G-d tries one final time: "and G-d said to Noah, 'Go out of the ark you and your wife, your sons and sons' wives' (Genesis 8:15).  But even this time, Noah remains impervious to G-ds Him "And Noah and his sons, his wife and his sons wives exited from the ark" (Genesis 8:18)

It is only in the case of Abraham that the bible describes his wife as an independent personage with a unique individual character "And Abram and Nahor took for themselves wives; the name of the wife of Abraham was Sarai and throughout the story of Abraham and Sarah we see two individuals working together as a team.  As the Midrash so aptly interprets the Biblical reference to the "Soul they made in Haran"(Genesis 12:5), "Abraham converted the males and Sarah converted the females" (Rashi Ad Loc).  G-d tells Abraham, "Everything that Sarah says to you, you must listen to her voice" (Genesis 21:12), and for the 38 years that Abraham lived after Sarah's death - a period when he remained strong and virile, marries another woman (Keturah, Hadar) and has sons and daughters with her - he is never visited by G-d and the act of consequence he accomplishes is choosing Eliezer to seek a suitable wife for Isaac. Apparently it was Sarah who was the greater prophet of the two, as our Sages suggest.  Perhaps it is because of the developed Husband-Wife relationship expressed by Abraham and Sarah, that it is Abraham - and not Adam or Noah - who is considered the first Jew.

Last year I was invited to Melbourne Australia to speak at the Yahrzeit of Rav Hayim Gutnick, one of the most important scholars and spokesman for Australian Jewry. One of the most moving experiences of my life was the viewing of a video of the speech Rav Gutnick gave on the 30th day following his wife’s demise.  After extolling her virtues he said to the large crowd gathered to honor her memory,
    "I don’t know why but during the last period of my wife's illness I never told her how  much I loved her.  I had many opportunity's to do so, but the words "I love you" never escaped my lips and this omission doesn't allow me to rest – because now it is too late.  If  you who assembled here today truly wish to pay proper tribute to the memory of your Rebbetzin then when you come home let each of you say to his/her spouse I Love You before its too late".