Shabbat Shalom: Parshat Kedoshim Leviticus: 19-1-20:27

By Shlomo Riskin

Efrat, Israel - “ You must surely instruct your colleague, so that you do not bear his sin” (Leviticus 19:17).

In order for an individual to be considered guilty of transgression, it is necessary that he be warned - or chastised - in advance of his crime, in order to ascertain that he is committing the forbidden deed willfully and with full understanding of the seriousness of his transgression. One of the greatest religio - legal decisors of the last generation, Rav Abraham Isaish Karelitz (Known as the Hazon Ish), seriously ruled that the Jewish community dare not condemn and ostracize disbelievers or heretics any longer because there are no longer Jewish religious models capable of properly chastising them. His proof - text is a famous diction of Rabbi Tarfon, who declared two millennia ago: “ I would marvel at meeting someone who can properly chastise. The moment one individual says to another, ‘Remove the flint between your teeth’, the other will respond, ‘you first must remove the beam between your eyes’” (B.T. Arakhin 16b)

Especially in our post-modern society, where almost anything goes and every possible moral or immoral position may be justified and rationalized by the subjective perspective of the individual who espouses it, it becomes increasingly difficult for a religious leader to act as a moral censor, chastising specific people for improper conduct. Indeed, is there any way at all in which one can move the transgressor to see the evil in his action?

I would like to recount two incidents which reflect two different (but complementary) methods of “chastisement” for our generation, and may the reader decide as to their effectiveness. The first is based on the Mussar (Ethicist) Navardok Academy, founded by one of the most outstanding disciples of Rav Yisroel Salanter, Rav Yosef Yaish. One of the principles of this higher academy of Jewish learning - which emphasized individual training in character development and had 180 Yeshivot throughout Europe before the Nazis destroyed all but one - was “hatava bimkon hakpada,” respect rather than resentment, repay insult with heightened consideration. The idea was that if an individual did me a bad turn, the most effective way for him to realize the evil of his deed would be by my behaving towards him with special accord and sensitivity. Hopefully, the contrast would make him realize the folly of his actions.

Rav Nekritz, a great sage and devotee of the Navardak School of ethical training, married off a grand-daughter. Many of the Torah sages - Rabbis, Grand-Rabbis and Roshie Yeshiva - were present, many more worthy scholars than there were blessings and honors to dispense under the nuptial canopy during the ceremony. Everyone of the assembled was greatly surprised when an unknown rabbi was given the single honor of intoning the last of the seven nuptial blessings, known as Brakha Aharita. It was assumed that this relatively unknown Rabbi must have had some special influence on the bride and groom - but, truth to tell, they had not laid eyes upon him before their wedding ceremony and hadn’t the faintest idea who he was. Rav Nekritz was frequently asked that evening who his special guest was, but he responded only with a silent and knowing smile. It was only after the Rav had passed away, and during the week of mourning in his honor, when his grand-daughter herself (who had been the bride) asker her grandmother about the strange guests identity, that the secret was revealed.

Several years before, Rav and Rebezin Nekritz were invited to a wedding of the daughter of a Rabbi they didn’t really know. He kept calling and pressing them, so they agreed to attend. They assumed he would arrange transportation, but when he did not - they traveled by bus and train to the catering hall. They were seated with people they didn’t know, Rav Nekritz was not given an honor during the ceremony, and no arrangements were made to take them home. When Rav Nekritz grand-daughter was married, he invited that same Rabbi - and honored him with the final blessing. hatava bimkom hakpada - Repay insult with respect.

A well known friend of mine, grand-son of a sainted zaddik of Jerusalem, who is a learned and charismatic educator, was a year in advance invited to speak at the Graduation Ceremonies of a High School in Israel. A short while before the graduation, he was hospitalized with a difficult bout of pneumonia. He returned home greatly weakened - and the evening of the graduation was cold, windy and rainy. His wife called the assistant Principal asking that her husband be excused due to illness. “It would be a desecration of G-d’s name if he doesn’t show up. He must come, even if he has to crawl on all four to get here,” She said, not even offering to send (or pay for ) a taxi. My friend insisted on going - despite his wife’s remonstrances that he rest at home - and he set out by bus. The entire trip he thought to himself, “How would my grand father have taught this assistant Principal that she had reacted insensitively? My grand-father would have attempted to provide her with an ideal model of proper conduct.”

When my friend rose to speak, he said he had to give a brief introduction. He wanted to give a special thanks to the assistant Principal, who had arranged for him to speak. He said that when she heard he had been ill with pneumonia, she called to graciously suggest that perhaps in light of the inclement weather he ought stay at home. When he said that he felt he had to come under any ambition, she offered to send a taxi. He felt it only proper to thank her for her sensitivity and consideration before giving his commencement address. The audience gave the assistant Principal a standing ovation. She called my friend the next day to apologize and to thank him for having taught her a most important lesson.

Shabbat Shalom.