Q & A - WITH RABBI RISKIN
Question: What can be done to improve the seemingly growing phenomenon of verbal aggression?
Answer:
Among Sephardic communities, the Shabbat before Shavuot is given a
special name – “Shabbat
Derekh Eretz,” because as our Sages taught, “Derekh Eretz [an
expression with many meanings, including “good manners” or “courteousness”]
precedes/is a precondition for the Torah” (Tanna Devei Eliyahu, chapter 10).
It is important to understand a fundamental, iron-clad rule in education and
in Jewish tradition: there are two ways in which, tragically, certain
mitzvot come to be regarded as lying outside of the binding, normative law
(and cease to be observed). One way is when it is claimed that a certain law
is not applicable today, in our modern world. The other way – even more
“successful” - is when certain laws or customs are simply ignored, both in
the synagogue and in schools. Sadly, this is what is happening today in the
USA with regard to the mitzvah of aliyah, and the same process is taking
place among us here with regard to the mitzvah of “You shall love your
fellow as yourself” – which Rabbi Akiva defined as “a great principle in
Torah.”
It
seems that we, as educators, are devoting much time to the
mitzvot pertaining to the relationship between man and God, and
less time to the mitzvot guiding inter-personal relationships. I
suggest that every morning, in every school, the day should
begin with the study of one of the mitzvot “bein adam le-havero.”
Students need to learn how to talk to one another courteously,
how to listen to one another patiently, and how to treat one
another with respect. They need to learn how to greet a person
pleasantly – whether you know him/her or not. They need to learn
how to behave when playing ball, how to behave on a bus, and
what to do when an elderly person enters; they need to learn
about the prohibitions of gossip, “lashon ha-ra,” and
slander.
I
believe that if such a campaign were to be undertaken for an
entire year in all of the schools, and if teachers would pay
attention to the way in which students talk among themselves –
both while at school and after school hours – we would see a
significant improvement.
