ots@ohrtorahstone.org.il

Question:
I recently visited a "shivah" house together with Rav Riskin, and I noticed that the Rav did not conclude his consolation wishes with the traditional words, "and may you know no more sorrow". Was this intentional?

Answer:
When taking leave of a mourner, ancient custom dictates that in an Ashkenazi home one declares, "May Hashem comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem", while in a Sefardi home one says, "May your comfort come from heaven". In later generations the wish, "May you know no more sorrow" was added. I must admit that I find these words difficult to utter. We are all mortal, and live in a world where nature forces us to separate from loved ones who pass on to the World of Truth. For as long as a person lives he will have to visit the sick and comfort mourners. Therefore I feel that the wish, "May you know no more sorrow" is not realistic. A more appropriate wish would seem to be something along the lines of, "May we celebrate many happy occasions from now onwards."

At the same time, there is certainly justification for the custom in that we look forward to a world in which death will forever be consumed, and we will all live in a world free of sadness. But according to the Rambam, even in the days of Mashiah the natural forces of the world will continue to function as they do now, and even after the resurrection of the dead people will continue to die and to go to the world of souls.

Therefore, in order to act in accordance with all of the above approaches, I believe that it is preferable to wish the mourners that we may join in celebrating 'semahot' - and may we all indeed merit to do so.

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