Q & A - WITH RABBI RISKIN
Question:
The bracha of “shelo asani isha” [“Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, Master of the world, who did not make me a woman”], said by men, doesn't sit well with modern sensibilities and I was wondering if you had an approach that leaves women feeling positive about the bracha?
Answer:
Most of the interpreters of the Prayer Book explain the reason for the blessing "Who did not make me a woman" as being related to the fact that women have fewer ritual obligations than men (they are freed from performing the positive commandments determined by time, because of their higher obligation of bearing and rearing their children). The man's statement in praising G-d is seen as an expression of his gratitude for having more ritual obligations.
The woman's blessing, "…who has made me according to His will," is similarly an expression of thanksgiving to G-d, for having given her the opportunity – as well as the danger – of childbearing. When we remember that Sigmund Freund maintains that most men spend much of their lives trying to make up for the fact that they cannot be as creative as women in the creation of the child, it can legitimately be argued that the women’s blessing expresses a higher calling.
Having said all of this, I have suggested in an article that I believe it would be legitimate for a man to make the blessing "Who has not made me a woman but has made me in accordance with His will," and for the woman to make the blessing "Who has made me in accordance with His will and has not made me a man." Given the language of both blessings as they appear in our prayer book, I do not believe that my addition would be expressing the respective blessing "not in accordance with the establishment of our Sages."
