Parshat Chayei Sarah  27 Cheshvan 5763, 2 November 2002

Shabbat Shalom: Parshat Hayyei Sarah    Genesis 23:1-25:18

By Shlomo Riskin

Efrat, Israel - The Torah portion of Hayyei Sarah consists of two incidents, Abraham's purchase of a grave site for Sarah and Eliezer's search of a wife for Isaac. What characterizes both stories is the exceptional literary manner in which they are recorded: our Bible is always distinguished by its terse, bare-boned verbiage, causing the reader (or listener) to read between the lines and rely upon parallel word associations in order to comprehend the full implication of the message, whereas these two descriptions are recorded in painstaking detail, replete with extensive and seemingly unnecessary dialogues (Abraham presents his case first to the Hittites, and - then almost interminably - to Efron) as well as downright repetitions (Abraham first commands Eliezer as to what to do, Eliezer plans to do it and then the text goes on to record the fact that he does it). So out of character in this account that our Talmudic sages are forced to explain the change of style: "Says Rabbi Aha 'the conversations of the servants of our Patriarchs are (apparently) more significant (lit. beautiful) than the actual Torah (commandments) of their descendants: after all, the portion of Eliezer is repeated twice in the Torah, whereas many essential laws are only transmitted by insinuation" (Genesis 24, Rashi ad loc). Rabbi Aha is certainly factually correct, but why should this be the case?

I believe that the first reason is in order to impress upon us in as graphic a fashion as possible the critical importance of Sarah as a wife, matriarch, and architect of our people and therefore the crucial task of finding the proper wife and partner for Isaac to continue the forging of our nation. We must remember that Abraham conducted an active ministry for sixty-two years, from age 75 when he set out to the land of Israel until age 137 when Sarah died. He went on to live another thirty-three years - beyond Sarah's death (Abraham died at age 175 - Genesis 25:7). Abraham was still vigorous during this period, having married again, taken additional mistresses and sired many children (Genesis 25:1-4). Nevertheless, during his more than three decades of post Sarah existence, there is not a single Biblical record of Abraham having any special communication from G-d as or of his achieving any act of significance on behalf of his family-nations - aside from his sending Eliezer to search out a fitting wife for Isaac. Apparently Abraham was the Rav in no small measure because Sarah was the Rebbetzin; indeed, our Sages tell in no uncertain terms that Sarah had greater power of prophecy than did Abraham and thereby explain why G-d tells the patriarch to heed whatever Sarah says. Abraham understands this, expends whatever time and money is necessary to find his beloved wife and lifes partner a proper burial place (four-hundred shekels of silver would probably be approximately two-hundred thousand dollars in our terms), and well understands the necessity of procuring a similar type of wife for Isaac. No act can be more significant for Israel's future - and so our text emphasizes it through repetition.

Secondly, the Torah waxes verbose when recording a story and is rather terse in expressing the commandments because even from this stylistic difference we must derive a crucial lesson: it is not the expounding which is of major importance but it is the action which really counts (lo hamidrash ikar ella hamaaseh); our children and our students learn most and best of all not from what we say and preach rather from what they see us do. The relentless attempt on the part of Abraham to begin a separate and independent cemetery with the grave of Sarah, his readiness to spend an exorbitant sum so that Sarah be seen for all future generations not as a Hittite with 'of right' burial rights but rather as a Hebrew with independent status speaks volumes of Abrahams respect for Sarah and his commitment to her legacy. Similarly the very fact that no less than sixty-seven verses describe Eliezer's search for a suitable wife and his uncompromising quest for family and loving kindness as the criteria for his choice is a crucial lesson for every parent and every suitable marriage partner even today!

Moreover, Abraham did not choose Eliezer merely to be his agent; it is clear from Abrahams charge and Eliezer's execution that the trusted servant was himself a shadchan in his own right, who himself decided upon the necessary criteria and had the independent ingenuity to see the project through to a successful conclusion. Apparently, Abraham relied on Eliezer to do a better job than he himself could have done.

Indeed, one of the important messages of our Torah is that we dare not rely an agent. All things being equal, we must always perform an important task by ourselves. Hence, the Talmud records how the great Sages themselves would clean the house in honor of the Sabbath, how one amora would himself prepare the fish and another amora the meat for the sacred Sabbath meal; the commandment is to be performed by the individual himself and not an agent (B.T. Kidushin 41a).

Indeed, according to the midrash Abraham was punished when he opened his door to the three strangers, but specifiedLet now a little water be fetched to wash their feet. (Genesis 18:4). Rashi (ad loc) notes the passive voice, which connotesby means of an agent; and therefore, the Holy One Blessed Be He punished the generation of Abraham's descendants in the desert by granting them water only through the agency of Moses and not directly from Him, as was the case with the manna. Moses was to speak to the rock - and when he struck the rock, when the agent proved lacking, a tragedy resulted for him as well as for the nation.

Eliezer was far more than an agent, he was a wise initiator. We learn best from the deeds of our patriarchs and matriarchs, who establish real priorities not by what they say but rather by what they do. Such is the case concerning us and our children. If we wish to truly teach them Torah, (v'shinantam l'vanekha) we ourselves must speak and live Torah in our own lives (v'dibarta bam), when we sit in our homes every day, when we go on the road on a business trip or a vacation journey, when we rise in the morning for minyan and daf yomi, and when we lie down by falling asleep at night over a sacred text rather than a T.V. program. What we do is far more important than what we say!

Shabbat Shalom.

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